Friday, June 12, 2015

簾捲春風




在唐唐身处的石器时代,是以在夜店收集到多少个手机号码或多少个人搭讪来评价一名天菜的颜值有多高。这招数至今依然管用,你是派对上的无色壁花或娇艳大红花,完全看你受多少人青睐。不过现代天菜评价法还包括:交友网件上被冒用照片的次数及在健身室洗澡间裡浴帘被掀的频率等,以上所说的和本人的颜值绝对成正比。见过小鲜肉在脸书上截图说「真讨厌,照片又被人盗用了!」言若有愤,实乃喜之。聋的也听得出那沾沾自喜的弦外之音─我是鲜肉天菜,所以照片一而再的被盗用。有回和姐妹们茶聚,谈起健身室帘捲春风事件,大家不落人后说出自身经验。那些身材好颜值高的先发招:基友甲「我试过一个月被掀三次!」基友乙娇嗔「我试过一周被掀三次,烦死!」 基友丙不甘示弱「我才歹命,一个晚上被掀三次 !」基友丁样子和身材都普普,突然他也高声嚷说「我上个月也被掀。被强硬闯入的滋味很难受!」全场顿时静了下来,大慨心裡都在怀疑基友乙说话的可信度(基友甲 :不可能,基友乙:掀错帘,基友丙:应该是要掀我的帘子,结果掀到他的,干!)。唐唐颜值偏低,不过这几年的健身生涯,也被掀几次,所以相信「基不择食」这勾当。掀帘者大都是垂垂老去大叔或瘦弱肥胖之流,基国度金字塔裡最底层的子民,大家避之则吉。你我都肤浅─如果掀帘者是张孝全、王杨明这类的,那「强硬闯入」肯定变成「温柔邀约」了。

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